Ask Mama Capps!

Grandma vs Hyperactive Sweetie’s

MamaCapps — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 23:27:47 +0000

This past Christmas, my hyperactive 5 year old gran-daughter was a joy to be around and to play with right up until all of her presents were loaded into the car and taken home. Since they were going to be here for a few more days, her mom and dad decided it would be much easier to send all of the packages home with another family member. This to make the 100 mile drive better when they did go. What on earth were they thinking? Since her birth it has been a challenge for me to keep her more than a few hours at a time. She is sweet and beautiful and EVERYWHERE!!!!

Her hyperactive behavior usually has me exhausted in a very short time. It usually involves getting creative with things for her to do. My house has not been set up for babies or small children for a long time. Since I don’t get to see this one very often, everything stops so that I can give her the special attention that I want to. She is the only girl grandchild and the baby to boot. My major goal with this precious little one is to make lots of memories with Grandma.

It has been difficult up to this point But grandma is not as energetic as she once was. This little ball of fire was always getting into trouble with mom and dad for something while she is here. It caused me to feel terrible that she was getting into trouble constantly and grandma’s house should be a pleasant and memorable place to be. Then an Idea came to me.

I realized that though I always had a gift for her to carry home with her and tried baking cookies and such, that everything required my undivided attention for her to have fun. She was still not at home and there was nothing she could claim as her own and just play with by herself without getting into trouble with mom and dad. I took her shopping that day just she and I and this is what we decided.

We found a large plastic drawer, the stacking kind for storage. It would fit under grammas high bed. We bought lots of stickers to reflect her favorite characters. Then we found some puzzles, color books and crayons and something called Polly pockets with a little house and figurines . A stuffed bear and a few cheap little toys that she would leave at gramma’s house in what would become Skylar’s secret box.

Now whenever my granddaughter comes to visit, the first thing she does is look under my bed and pull out her secret box. Each time she finds a little something new. Nothing expensive, just new and interesting. This along with stocking sugar free cookies and candies has made for a pleasant and fun filled visit for all . In addition she has some very special memories of her visits with Grandma…

Nutrition: Spray VS Pills

MamaCapps — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 04:08:50 +0000

Question: Dear Debbie, My doctor says because I have a chronic illness that I don’t absorb the nutrition that I need to keep me healthy and to fight infections. I know you have Lupus which does the same. What do you recommend to help me absorb more of the vitamins that I need SC/TNN.

Answer: True that many with chronic disease get sicker simply because they are not able to fight the illness . Nutrition is vital in the fight. I personally take all of my supplements in spray and liquid. Below is some info that explains why. I do take my nutrition very seriously. I take the best available for my body. Hope this helps. MamaC

Spray Vitamins and Oral Absorption

According to the prestigious Physicians’ Desk Reference for Nonprescription Drugs and Dietary Supplements�, oral absorption (spraying into the mouth and swallowing) is much more efficient than other forms of delivery, with the nutrients being rapidly absorbed by the lining of the mouth, called the buccal mucosa. The process of oral absorption is actually simple:

Advantages of Oral Absorption

Sprays are highly effective and rapidly absorbed.

Sprays are easily administered every 3-4 hours, maintaining a more constant distribution of nutrients throughout the body.

Sprays avoid the peaks and valleys common with once a day supplements.

Sprays are “pure” and do not contain fillers or binders.

Sprays can be taken anywhere and used without water, helping to cut down on missed doses.

Sprays eliminate the awkwardness of swallowing a bulky pill.

Sprays are ideal for those suffering from digestive disorders that can prevent or hinder the absorption of nutrients.

When absorption, bioavailability and purity are taken into account, sprays are more economical than pills or capsules.

Oral absorption is now the preferred delivery method for vitamins, nitroglycerin and many dietary supplements containing minerals, amino acids and herbs. It’s the fastest, most effective and convenient way to get a daily dose of the essential nutrients your body needs to stay healthy. In fact, this unique delivery system is supported by the Physicians’ Desk Reference for Nonprescription Drugs and Dietary Supplements� as the best way to achieve the nutritional supplement levels your body demands.

“Dad , no more!” (Affairs)

MamaCapps — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 06:44:20 +0000

Question: Dear Mama Capps,

I am the father of 5 beautiful children. I was a successful business man for many years. A few years ago I was in an accident and became disabled. At that time my wife of 10 years had not worked since our first child. She was I thought gracious in going back to work while I became Mr Mom during my recovery. It was a year before I was able to return to working to support my wife and children but in that time my wife had met someone on her job at the bank and started an affair.

We have gone to counseling and I thought it was all over. I recently discovered that her affair never ended and now she is pregnant for him . She says the child is mine and she is sorry but we have not been intimate in some time. If this is my child, then I am wondering why when I asked her to move out while I clear my head, did she move in with her boyfriend when her mother is right across town.

Everyone tells me to wake up and divorce her and forget her. I have my children and she visits them occasionally. I know I have been blind for many years but I have loved this woman with all my heart for all of them. I have taken her back twice for this same affair but now even my little 8 year old says “Dad no more!” I know it’s time to move on but I don’t think I’ll ever find a woman who wants a man with 5 kids. I’m not sure I’m ready to be alone or that I can raise these children alone.

If this child is not mine I have decided to divorce her. But if it is, what then? How do I also take care of a newborn without a mom? I am my company’s problem solver. I look like the fool of the century. Your advice would be much appreciated. KB/T,WA

Answer: Dear KB,

My heart goes out to you sweetie. I have a friend who recently experienced some of the same issues. First let me say that you my friend, are not the fool so get over that. You are a wonderful father in that, you have kept them and their well being first in your life. The fact that you were blind to what was going on is only that you were in love with the mother of your children. Those who will criticize you for that are wrong.

That being said, it is time for you to get through your mourning process and do what you need to do to end this madness for the kid’s sake. It is not time to look for another woman or to hate your wife. It is time to look realistically at this whole situation from a different perspective. You were quick to get a marriage counselor but did you know that getting one for yourself, is one of the best things you can do for your self and children? You didn’t cause this madness but you are responsible for stopping it. You are worth the same consideration you gave your failing marriage

You are obviously not ready for the whole divorce thing so let me make some suggestions. I suggest that you get a legal separation with a court order request for a paternity test. This will give you the time to process all that has happened and wait to see if this other child is yours. Make no long term decisions until then and meanwhile invest in yourself with some counseling. Your children may also benefit from the same. I strongly suggest that you have absolutely no contact with your wife for this period of time. Darlin’ you really need a total separation from her for you to get clear on where you are and what you want. Have her visit the children in a mutual place like parents so you do not have to have contact with her. It is very important that you and she have the time apart to get through the ocean of emotions that will hit you in the days to come.

Lastly my dear friend, make no decisions yay or nay until you have spent some time alone. Get to know yourself and love that person. You are a phenomenal person and you need to know that. As far as finding a woman who will love you and your family, I assure you there are many of them out there who would love to have such a hero as yourself. You are a hero. To your family right now you have to be their hero and take care of your emotional health. Mama has officially declared you Superman. Just stay away from the Cryptonite until you get your strength back. Am sending you my suggestions for counselors and a follow-up link. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. You are a HERO and YOU CAN DO THIS! LOVE and HUGS)) Mama Capps

Look Into Your Heart

MamaCapps — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 05:56:58 +0000

Question: Debbie, I have a friend that is going through a real hard time and I’m trying to help him. I have given my best advice on the subject and I am a pro in that area. It seems that every thing I suggest he finds a reason why he thinks that won’t work. He asks for advice but then finds everything wrong with the advice I give him. I know you deal with people all the time and I was wondering, do you think he really wants advice at all or is he just wanting to vent?JS/SC

Answer: Well sweetie I can tell you this. A wise man once told me that “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” . It may be that all he needs is to vent. But then if he is asking advice of you it might be that just repeating his question back to him might lead him to the answer he is seeking.

Sometimes the best advice one can give is “Look into your heart and listen to what it says” I think your friend would benefit if you do more listening than advising. That is truly sometimes all that is needed. You are a good friend for trying to help him. Now just try to love him through it. MamaCapps

Nursing Home For Mama?

MamaCapps — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 01:49:33 +0000

Question: Dear MamaCapps, My Mother is very Ill and lives with her sister who is also Ill. As much as I don’t want to I’m going to have to approach her about a nursing home. My brother is against it but he can’t take her either and her doctor says she needs care that we can’t give her. How do I approach her and my brother without seeming like I just want to stick my mom somewhere?

Answer: If your Mother is that Ill and the doctor has recommended a nursing facility then you should really have your Mom and your brother go with you to have the doctor explain to them that she needs that level of care. I have seen families try to care for loved ones who require skilled care. It is difficult on everyone and the patient suffers the most.

There are some really good facilities out there and some not so good. I suggest to make several appointments , and with your brother and Mom, visit them. I could name several good ones but since the one I’m most familiar with is AGAPE, I would suggest to start there. I love their mission statement and the staff. One of which is my daughter. I even suggested it to her for a job and now she loves it. But try visiting several.

You will know you have found the right one when it feels like family. Your Mom didn’t get to her age by being naive. She will know what she needs to do. You and your brother will be much more help to her by being a big part of her life in the facility. There are always things to help out with and she will need you to be her advocate. If the doctor says that she needs care that you can’t give her you should take that seriously.

Also you may ask the doctor about in home care. She may be too ill for that but it is something to discuss with him. I would explain to your brother that you both want your Mothers last years to be active yet injury,pain and stress free. Sometimes this, though difficult, is the kindest and most loving of things you could do for her. Just be sure to be an active part of all that the facility offers. She is their patient but she is your MOM...MamaC

Overwhelmed And Giving Up. Help

MamaCapps — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 05:03:01 +0000

Question: Hi Debbie, I took your advice and am trying to get organized. The thing is , when I started writing down my to do list, I couldn’t stop. It’s so long now that I don’t know where to start. That was my problem before. I get overwhelmed and give up. I know my life is in a mess but I can’t see how I’ll get all this done. Help! JS/MD

Answer: Don’t panic LOL . You have the first step down. Now go through the list and pick out the five most pressing things on it. Put that on your fridge and concentrate on one thing at a time. Mark them off in red as you complete each one. Getting out of the procrastination and feeling overwhelmed takes time. You need to systematically build new habits. Just focus on one thing right now and go to the next only when you can mark that one off.

You will find that seeing the few things getting done will give you a great sense of accomplishment and keep you moving through your list. Hope this helps. MamaC