This past Christmas, my hyperactive 5 year old gran-daughter was a joy to be around and to play with right up until all of her presents were loaded into the car and taken home. Since they were going to be here for a few more days, her mom and dad decided it would be much easier to send all of the packages home with another family member. This to make the 100 mile drive better when they did go. What on earth were they thinking? Since her birth it has been a challenge for me to keep her more than a few hours at a time. She is sweet and beautiful and EVERYWHERE!!!!
Her hyperactive behavior usually has me exhausted in a very short time. It usually involves getting creative with things for her to do. My house has not been set up for babies or small children for a long time. Since I don’t get to see this one very often, everything stops so that I can give her the special attention that I want to. She is the only girl grandchild and the baby to boot. My major goal with this precious little one is to make lots of memories with Grandma.
It has been difficult up to this point But grandma is not as energetic as she once was. This little ball of fire was always getting into trouble with mom and dad for something while she is here. It caused me to feel terrible that she was getting into trouble constantly and grandma’s house should be a pleasant and memorable place to be. Then an Idea came to me.
I realized that though I always had a gift for her to carry home with her and tried baking cookies and such, that everything required my undivided attention for her to have fun. She was still not at home and there was nothing she could claim as her own and just play with by herself without getting into trouble with mom and dad. I took her shopping that day just she and I and this is what we decided.
We found a large plastic drawer, the stacking kind for storage. It would fit under grammas high bed. We bought lots of stickers to reflect her favorite characters. Then we found some puzzles, color books and crayons and something called Polly pockets with a little house and figurines . A stuffed bear and a few cheap little toys that she would leave at gramma’s house in what would become Skylar’s secret box.
Now whenever my granddaughter comes to visit, the first thing she does is look under my bed and pull out her secret box. Each time she finds a little something new. Nothing expensive, just new and interesting. This along with stocking sugar free cookies and candies has made for a pleasant and fun filled visit for all . In addition she has some very special memories of her visits with Grandma…
Many years ago as a little girl I experienced a real encounter with Santa. My faith in Jesus, who introduced Santa to me inspired a song that I wrote which has since become our family song. I wrote the song when I was 14. Even my grandchildren nieces and nephews sing it today. None of them have ever heard the real story behind the song ,so I will write it here. This is a story that even as a grandmother keeps me believing in Santa.
It had been a hard year financially and my Dad had gone to California to find work to no avail. He showed up just before Christmas to my Mama and seven small children. I could tell even at that age that he was angry and that tensions were high. My little brother however never noticed so in his excitement blurted out to him ” Daddy, Whats Santa bringing us for Christmas?” I could see the anger rising in him as he grabbed his coat and reached for the door. On his way out he screamed back ” There’s no such thing as Santa Clause!” For whatever reason we didn’t see him again until after the holidays. Maybe it was his pride or pain that kept him away I don’t know. What I remember is, my mama and all seven of us stood in the doorway and watched as he drove away. I think we all knew at that point that Santa wouldn’t be visiting our house that year.
That Sunday, as the oldest I dressed all the little ones and wrapped the baby. We walked the six blocks to a little church . It was the closest church for us to attend at that time. I remember that I had won a bible there the week before for memorizing the books of the bible. I remember being so thankful when the preacher said anyone could come to the alter to pray for anything. As I gathered the little ones and headed toward the front, I had no idea how to pray. I only knew that I had heard that it was the only way to talk to God. As I reached the alter, and knelt to pray with the baby in my arms and the others pulling at my clothes, I began my prayer something like this.
” Excuse me Lord if I don’t do this right, I promise to practice and get better. I really need to ask a favor today though. My Mama is really worried that maybe Santa doesn’t exist. That may be true but if it’s not, could you please give him a message for me? Would you ask him to please forgive my Dad for what he said about him? He is really stressed and I’m sure didn’t mean it. There are seven of us Lord and if you would let Santa know that it’s OK if it’s just a little bit. Maybe he could bring my brother some shoes. Could you just ask him to give Mama something to make her smile?. Thanks a lot Lord. Oh and just in case you need to know, we live in the yellow house on 5th street. ”
In the days to come I was sure that if there was a Santa I would have gotten a sign . Nothing. No sign of Dad and Mama with no smile. Mama did find a branch that had fallen from a tree in the back yard. It had a little greenery on it. She somehow propped it up in a mop bucket and encouraged us to find things to decorate it with. At last it was at least feeling a little like Christmas! Getting excited about the possibility, we began making cards out of scrap paper and looking for boxes to wrap them in to give to one another. We even borrowed newspaper from a neighbor for wrapping paper.
The next week passed and still no Dad. Food was getting scarce. We had been eating dried beans and biscuits for days. By Christmas eve it was clear to me that there was no Santa and I hadn’t prayed right enough to get God a message. Mama had been hinting that Santa was very busy and might not get to us this year. She did however tell us to keep a watch outside just in case he gets time to stop. Looking back I know that she was just trying to keep our hopes alive even as her heart was breaking and her hopes were shattered. Never the less, my little brother would keep looking out the door. I remember his little voice to this day “Nothin’ yet ya’ll” . As the night grew late Mama said to her yawning children that we should go to bed and check again in the morning. The pain and sorrow in her face was all I needed to know that Daddy was right, Santa didn’t exist. I finished my beans and biscuits and got ready for bed with a heavy heart. If only I had learned how to pray.
Just then, there was a long beep beep beep outside and a squeaking break sound! ” It’s Santa!” my brother said as he ran to the door. Mama didn’t move from her chair at the table but the confused look on her face said that she had no clue who it might be but was sure it wasn’t Santa. I pushed through the others to see out the door but all I could see was an old school bus with a church name on the side. I backed up and looked at my Mama again just in time to hear ” It’s Santa and all his helpers!” said my little sister. Confused my Mama Started toward the door. Before she could get across the room, the doorway was filled with a tall, thin, scraggly looking Santa! No suit just his hat and a shadow of a beard, not hiding warm smile. Behind him were helpers but they were not little people like the elves I expected. They were big people all with Santa hats . Santa didn’t have a bag but a cardboard box filled his arms. Each of the helpers also carried boxes. I think there were twelve.
Mama asked the strange looking Santa “What is this?” But there was only singing as they all walked to the kitchen and put down their boxes. Santa had disappeared and when I looked again he was standing beside the little makeshift tree. I watched in amazement as he handed each child a brand new pair of shoes even Me! How did he know? Did God get my prayer somehow anyway? In addition to the shoes, each child was given a homemade carved toy and a stocking full of little things. Of course we were all excited but when mama called us all to the kitchen to instruct the “say thank you’s” we could see that the boxes were full of food! Man that was a sight! Food to last for years I thought. But then the table was also full with fresh warm cooked food. A feast fit for a king!
In all of the excitement no one talked but the kids. The helpers and Santa just kept singing. Then silence, as Santa spoke. “May we have a word of prayer before we leave?” I swear I heard” to the North Pole” but I was very young. A short prayer was said by Santa. It ended with ” Thank You Jesus.” Then I knew it! Santa doesn’t just exist he know Jesus too! Before he could say amen, my Mama’s voice, low and shaking, began to pray. I heard her thanking God for Santa and Jesus. Then with tears streaming down she thanked them for coming and they were all gone. This was the best Christmas I can remember even though it was never again so tough. This was the Christmas that Jesus introduced me to the real Santa Clause!
For the last almost 45 years when my children and grandchildren ask if Santa Clause is real, I just smile and sing to them what has become our family song “I believe in Santa Clause cause I believe in Jesus”. There has never been a year that I have not been blessed to happen upon a family in hard times at Christmas. I and my children have counted it as an honor to share what we have at this time of year. Though they have grown up with the song I wrote years later when I was 14, they had never known the story behind the song until now. My cousin asked a while back for the words to the song saying she couldn’t get the tune out of her head. I was honored that even my extended family still remember it.
No matter how well I have it or how many things I get or give for Christmas, that Christmas so very long ago will stand forever in my heart as the best of all. I look at all the presents today that flow from under the tree and beyond and am reminded. The stack of presents by the door awaiting someone else’s tree are the most precious gifts of all. Merry Christmas to all of my family and friends. For me Christmas is all about Jesus saying. ” Yes Debbie, there is a Santa Clause!
I am concerned with the direction that you are taking this country. Let me first say that I am neither Republican, Democrat,Libertarian or Conservatist. I am one of those people that have always pulled for the politician that I thought had the best ideas and heart with no regard for the party affiliation. Believe it or not sir, there are more of us than you think. We are the ones who chose to pray for peace instead of spit on soldiers as they came home from war. We ARE THE ONES WHO SANG ABOUT PEACE BUT STILL SERVED OUR COUNTRY WHEN CALLED. We organized the Civil Rights Movement without cell phones or internet. Why are you so surprised that we actually individually know our way to the town hall ! We went through integration in our schools. While fighting the battles of our parents found the race issue was not ours but theirs. We found some of our best friends and ally’s to be the race our parents feared.
We have been laying low because we are tired. We are the generation who care for our kids, grandkids and our elderly parents and grandparents. We have been too busy raising our family’s and caring for our aging parents to get out there and organize or protest. We are the ones who have complained that the Republicans were selling off our country to the highest bidder and complained again that the Democrats have worked diligently to take God out of the schools along with the pledge to the flag.
We are the ones who have friends and family who are Black , White, Homosexual, Hispanic and a gammit of ethnic backgrounds. We couldn’t bring ourselves to take an extreme stand on either side because of the people we love and cherish. We had decided long ago to pray for peace and to take everyone at face value and to love them even if we don;t particularly agree with their views. We preferred to have a sing along as opposed to fighting our brothers and sisters.
Just know Sir’ that you have awakened a sleeping giant. Because now we are Republican and Democrat, Conservative and Libertarian. We love our country and each other. We have had our fill of the petty fighting and finding out that those we have trusted with our country have been arrested and charged with corruption at an alarming pace. Now we are watching you Sir, surround yourself with criminals and communist’s. We are watching as you poke holes in our constitution. The one that allowed for a bunch of peace loving, pot smoking youngsters to be able to voice their objections through gatherings and marches.
We have since become Corporate Professionals, Moms, Dads, Grandparents ,Preachers, Mechanics, Nurses,Veterans, Blue Collar Workers, Farmers, Homemakers and anything else you can think of that has made this country great. We thought we were so past the days of sit in’s and protests. We have been very busy you see. Busy making America what it is. Free ,Diverse, Tolerant, and Rich! We have taken full advantage of the constitution and the freedoms we hold dear.
Mr. Obama, we are a tired bunch. We don’t want to take time away from our daily routines to show up at some stupid town meeting. We would rather continue to sit on the sidelines and complain. However, remembering who we were in the days of marches and sit in’s, able to voice our opinions and beliefs without reprisal from the government, and seeing that right slowly slip away for our children stirs within us the patriotic feelings of our youth. Just as our parents, we don’t sometimes agree with the views of our kids and grandkids , but we fought and some of us died for them to have the right to voice them.
We are the baby boomers. We are the ones who have paid our dues just to have our government rape the social security system and now you tell us that the system is broke? Well put our money back and it won’t be. You claim to be for the little guy and the underdog but we are not stupid. We are the little guy. You have enlisted our brothers and sisters who are less fortunate to do your dirty work. You paid them minimum wage telling them that you are working for them while Congress vote for raises in your pay? Our concern is that you are allowing your radical friends to use and abuse the most vulnerable in our society. Deliberately destroying the businesses that provide the jobs that they so desperately need. That, as well as the ability for them to have the same rags to riches story that you do.
Mr.President you are living in Our House rent free so long as you do the job that we have charged you with. Corruption and Thugs have followed you to Our House and we have to speak up at this point. You didn’t win the White House this is not a lottery. You were loaned Our House rent free for a time. Be sure of this. We are the BabyBoomers who now have clout with our children and grandchildren who are now becoming voting age. We are also the caretakers of our aging parents and grandparents. We are simply irritated that we have to go out to a stupid meeting now to make a point. But as sure as we were the ones who organized for civil rights in our youth, know that though we are tired, we are not so tired as to ignore the call to bring our country back to the constitution that our fathers, sons and now our grandchildren fight for. Please DO ignore and belittle us. As some wept with joy when you were elected to think that our country had come so far, we now weep in anger to see OUR HOUSE become filled with corruption and criminals.
We don’t need cable news to tell us that something is wrong with this picture. We are not conspiracy theorists nor do we take anyone’s word for anything. Maybe you have forgotten that we were the college students who rallied and protested so that you would have this opportunity. We have always researched and made up our own minds using the facts. We are educated and although tired and aging we are a force to be reckoned with. We are not all Christians but we don’t want that right taken from us. We are not all Conservative or Liberal but we don’t want the right to be either, taken or belittled. We are Christian, Jew, Catholic, and Atheist. We are Gay, Straight, Rich and Poor. We are Black, White, Brown and Everything in-between. We fought for the right to argue and debate among ourselves. We have come a long way and have learned to be tolerant and caring of one another. We all want to help our fellow man and we all know the way to do that is to come together. We don’t need the Government to tell us how and when to speak.
We hired you and all of the other politicians to work it out for us just to find that we do better on our own. Only because we are busy keeping your friends rich on our backs. We have been busy making America great and it’s really a drag that now we have to now stop what we are doing to set the record straight. It is you Sir who is in sighting civil unrest in our country. We may not agree on everything but we do agree on this. Criminals belong in jail not in the White House! You have never had a real job so maybe we should elect Joe The plumber, or Sue the Nurse! In anycase, we know things need to be fixed, we just think that since we built this great country, we can probably do it without becoming the blind followers of a corrupt administration. We love our Country and all of our fellow Americans of any color or ethnic background. Do you? The House in which you live, The White House, is OUR HOUSE and we want it back! We want a Black President, a Hispanic,Oriental and everything else But we want America to always be the free country that we fought for. And we want that President to be one that defends all of us, not one who berates our entire country before the whole world.
If we had wanted to be under a dictatorship we would have stayed in Europe. You Sir, were not elected to be the president for a particular party but President for our Country as a whole. I had such high hopes for you Sir, I really thought you just might be the one to bring our Country together, with your elegant speeches and dynamic personality. What We have found instead are that you are the President only to those who agree and support you. You have shown that instead of taking this country toward oneness you have incited racial and class wars. Please Sir, Make this time in OUR HOUSE count for all of us or get out. This Country has never been perfect but we have always grown out of our imperfections with the right leadership. We have helped more people and countries than anyone in the world! We have a lot to be proud of! We would like to be Proud of you! Dr. King was our national Hero. He brought us so far. He did it by bringing people together not by blame and divide. Now get a grip and get back to defending our constitution and our country or get out of the way and we will . Just sayin’
Having Lupus should be the worst thing in my life. Believe it or not, it has been the best thing in my life. Yes, I’ve had several surgeries since I was diagnosed. My diagnosis came when I was 27 years old. I was in the prime of my life. I was very active in church, working full time and had a boyfriend who I planned to marry.
In 1993, I was admitted to the hospital with multiple problems. I had organ damage and they were so severe, my rheumatologist asked my mother to call the family. You see he did know how long I had to live. I use to get daily visits from the clergyman at the hospital. My own pastor from my church came to pray for me. That was the first time I was ever in the hospital so I was so excited to receive all of the attention. Who knew life was at the end of the road. The doctor told my mother to not let me know the severity of my problems. People were so nice and sweet to me and I loved being in the hospital. When the rheumatologist told me and my family what it was, I was so relieved. Now, I finally had something with a name. I didn’t know how to pronounce the long legal term but it was called Lupus. I found out that I had the severe kind Systemic Erythematosus Lupus (SLE). This diagnose was quite different from my sister. Yes, I have a sister who has the disease as well. Her disease was brought on by drug usage. I’ve never touched the stuff in my life so that is why Lupus never came up.
Since I’ve been ill, I’ve been on hundreds of medication sometimes 20 pills a day. I’ve taken Prednisone, Plaquenil, Imuran, Celebrex, Methotrexate, Flexril, Arava, Nexium, Zegerid, Bextra just to name a few. With medication comes side effects and I’ve had them all. Hair loss, headaches, weight loss, high fevers, memory loss, peripheral neuropathy, arthritis, bruising, weight gain, depression, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, joint pain, aches, insomnia, fatigue, blood clots, canker sores in my mouth and nose and the list goes on and on. I have been able to deal with the physical symptoms. They are hard at times but I’m able to get over them fairly well. Most of the medication used for Lupus is really powerful medications. I have to have monthly blood work done so they can monitor any changes. One of the biggest side effects I have to deal with is depression. I sometimes deal with it today.
I ended up losing a lot of friends after the diagnosis. One of them told me that she did not want me near her or her family anymore. Also, I ended up losing the man I was going to marry. After losing everyone who I felt meant something to me, I thought I was damaged goods. I looked like a “walking skeleton” at times and other times looked like a “big fat pig”. This was some of the names I heard from people. People usually say things when they think you can’t hear them. Remember these were friends of mine. My boyfriend at the time told me he could not live with someone who was as sick as I was. I truly respected him for being brutally honest but that nearly killed me. You see, I didn’t ask for this. This was something that I did not have control over but I felt he blamed me.
I’ve also had several surgeries in my tenure. I’ve had a bilateral hip replacement, reconstruction of the left ankle and left shoulder replacement. I’ve had the butterfly rash on my face several times. I walk with a cane some days; other days, I can’t walk at all. I have to stay away from people who are ill. My food has to be prepared properly or if I get food poisoning, I will end up in the hospital. I’ve seen the inside of most of the emergency rooms in the city.
All of this sounds really depressing but look at what I truly see. After living with Lupus, I now know who my true friends are. The people around me today like me just the way I am. When I am sick and unable to hang out with them, they still come by and hang out here at my home. Others will wait on me and say “when you are better, please let us know so we can do something”. They always call me to check on me. I don’t have to pretend to be something that I am not. I’ve not only found another boyfriend but I married him. When we first met, I told him upfront that I had Lupus. He asked me to explain what it was and he was fine with it. Whenever I was sick, he was there. He has been one of the best things in my life. I can’t imagine my life without him. We’ve had a daughter who is the other best thing. Yes, I had her after being diagnosed with Lupus. When everyone was telling me that life was ending for me, my life was just beginning.
During my pregnancy, my Lupus went into remission and stayed there for a few years. I have a great job and work with wonderful people. Some days I do not feel good and I have the ability to rest at work. The owner put a couch in my office just for that reason. They are concerned about me like the other friends in my life. I often keep them informed of the doctor visits and medication changes. The doctors and their staff who are in my life would not be there if it wasn’t for Lupus. When I see my rheumatologist every month, his office greets me with the biggest smiles. I come in the office as if I’m a celebrity. As soon as I walk in, they tell me to take a seat and the doctor will be with me. When I have to get blood work done, the doctors will say “you have to see the vampires today”. This is what I usually call them.
My new friends on the social networking sites are truly there because of Lupus. I would not be on these sites if I didn’t have Lupus. One thing that has helped is helping someone else. I decided to go and find others like me. I needed to see what I could do to make someone’s life happier. Every day, I look for people to help. I do not want to focus on my issues as you can see there are a lot of them. I don’t think I was placed on this earth to worry about my problems. I was placed on this earth to listen to someone’s words; to laugh at someone’s jokes; to cry with them when they hurt; to nurture someone who looks up to me; and to love someone who truly loves me. My life is full today and will continue to grow because I have truly found out why I am here. I am here to live. I am living with Lupus and very happy with it!
